When I was a preteen, back in the 1980s, there were books, magazines, documentaries, and TV shows about 鈥渢he change of life鈥 also known as puberty. While we giggled through afterschool specials on TV and whispered about body changes in the schoolyard, we had a good understanding of what was happening to our bodies.
Fast-forward about 40 years and now we鈥檙e experiencing another change of life: perimenopause and menopause.
For this, there are no afterschool specials or sitcom episodes. We are talking to each other and explaining what in the world is happening to us. We already knew about our periods stopping and hot flashes, but not about the menstrual changes (for better or for worse), brain fog, hair loss, decreased libido, decreased bone density, anxiety, depression, weight gain, fatigue and hairs popping out where they shouldn鈥檛.
Thanks hormones.
We are talking to each other over a glass of wine or cup of coffee 鈥 that is making us overheat because both alcohol and caffeine increase hot flashes. When I pull out my personal fan to cool down, I鈥檓 sharing where I got it. We鈥檙e discussing both herbal and medical treatments to help with insomnia that鈥檚 keeping us up all night. We鈥檙e commiserating over the extra weight we can鈥檛 shed.
And I鈥檓 glad that we鈥檙e not shying away from discussions about perimenopause because if we don鈥檛 share with each other or explain to younger generations what to expect, who will? As much as our mothers and older female friends and family members may have guided us through puberty, pregnancy, and parenting, they haven鈥檛 said much about perimenopause 鈥 or changes to our reproductive health 鈥 as we age.
So, it is now the job of the women of generation X who are in the throes of perimenopause and menopause to share the joys 鈥 and pains 鈥 of this next phase of life.
Aside from random aches and pains (why are my knees cracking?) and not sleeping well, this new phase of life hasn鈥檛 been too bad. What I鈥檓 enjoying 鈥 aside from the ability to wear white pants whenever I want 鈥 is that I care less about what other people think.
As a woman of a certain vintage, I just don鈥檛 have the energy to care as much about what people have to say. I鈥檓 praying as I get older, I will care even less.
Getting older isn鈥檛 just about physical changes, it鈥檚 (hopefully) getting wiser and accepting who we are. We can and should reject society鈥檚 expectations of what a woman of a certain age is supposed to look like, act like, or feel like. It鈥檚 about not being ashamed of being in perimenopause and sweating like you just finished up a hot yoga session while shopping in an air-conditioned grocery store in a tank top.
Whip out that personal fan and cool off, sis.
It鈥檚 learning that life is a journey and getting old is a privilege. Ageing is giving yourself grace and recognizing that perfection isn鈥檛 a thing 鈥 some days getting it done is more than enough. Getting older means you are still living and that is a beautiful thing. It just depends how you look at it.
While our faces may not be as smooth as they once were and we鈥檙e seeing more white hairs, I wouldn鈥檛 change the opportunity to get older and to share my life lessons with the young folks around me from puberty stories to all the bumps on the road to menopause.
The wisdom gained by living life is the real gift of aging.
If I think about it, I wouldn鈥檛 want to go back to my younger years because while physically I was in my prime, mentally and emotionally I was so immature and unsure of who I was and what was important.
I鈥檓 not speaking for my knees, of course. They complain every time I stand up.
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