海角社区官网

I suppose it says something about my own life that I鈥檓 more familiar with extra samples on Christmastime liquor bottles rather than fancy perfume. Still, we can agree that the intention is the same. The added shot or spritz functions as a tease, an amuse bouche, a preview. It鈥檚 like a party favour, bestowed in appreciation for the tasteful purchase of the main item. Thank you for choosing!

Both capsules of precious fluid act as psychological enticements, like impulse items stacked at the point of sale or end-pricing items at ninety-nine cents rather than even dollars. Such low-key desire-emoluments make you more likely to shell out聽鈥� as you did. Since you purchased the whole perfume package, though, the little bottle is not actually 鈥渇ree鈥� or 鈥渆xtra.鈥� Even if the price on the festive two-pack is unchanged, a sample discounts the per-volume cost only slightly.

But so what? We go along with these japes and gambols of the cash nexus as long as they don鈥檛 offend our sense of proportion or humour too much. It鈥檚 a decent bargain, after all, to get a small added buzz of happiness in exchange for not thinking too much about the microeconomics of retail. Extras make shopping more fun, as long as nobody is fooled into thinking they are ever really gratis.

In that spirit of blithe consumerism, then, I say your boyfriend was wrong and you were right. The sample is yours to enjoy. It was proffered and obtained at the point of purchase, an incidental benefit of that transaction. Generosity towards your friend follows another logic entirely, one where come-ons are irrelevant, indeed would be out of place. So give the main bottle freely and redeem your dividend without guilt. Added bonus: everyone will smell nicer.

I鈥檓 not one for tooting my own horn. But when I hear that people are getting kudos for doing the same things I鈥檝e done, or talk about what they鈥檝e done as if it were an exciting feat, I feel my nose go a little bit out of joint. Saying 鈥淚 did that too鈥� seems like I鈥檓 being a 鈥渕e too, me too鈥� person. But I guess I鈥檓 not good at talking about the things I鈥檝e done as if they鈥檙e worth some excitement. Any advice?

The gospel according to Matthew is where we find the well-worn Biblical admonishment not to 鈥渉ide your light under a bushel.鈥� The verse is actually framed like a piece of did-you-ever-notice stand-up comedy. Hey, when you light a candle, do you put it under a bushel? Beat. No, duh. You put it on a candlestick! That way, you give light to the whole house. And you don鈥檛 start a fire. Ba-dum-tish!

Personal gifts and good works should not be hidden, Matthew argues, because they offer both wider benefit and glory to the creator. Let your light shine! Even before this Christian version of the pious humblebrag, the ancient Greeks celebrated the virtue of magnanimity. This didn鈥檛 mean just generosity, as it does now, but rather 鈥済reatness of spirit,鈥� a proper sense of one鈥檚 worth expressed in noble public deeds. Justified pride, in short.

Very little of what people routinely boast about these days is noble, let alone done for larger benefit. So your feelings of resentment are entirely legit. It鈥檚 galling to hear people chest-thumping about things that you鈥檝e done quietly, or that don鈥檛 justify all the crowing in the first place. We live in a relentlessly self-promoting age, alas, and those of us who prefer modesty about accomplishments are at a disadvantage when it comes to external validation.

But if all that means someone else gets more attention at a dinner party or whatever, I say just suck it up. You know what you鈥檝e done. So do the people for whom it really matters. Life is not a social-media contest, or some bleak Black Mirror status contest of likes, retweets and upvotes. When speaking up for yourself is truly beneficial, you鈥檒l do it bravely and without hesitation. Meanwhile, be great in spirit where it counts most聽鈥� on the inside.

Need existential advice from a philosophical adviser? Send your dilemmas and questions to聽agoodlife@thestar.ca聽and we鈥檒l guide you to your good life.