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Help.

Smokin鈥� Gun

A Oh boy. I鈥檓 sorry, I鈥檓 not sure I can really help you. All I can say is when two people are engaged in consensual sexual activity and like each other enough to be doing what they鈥檙e doing, they should also be comfortable enough to talk. If you鈥檇 like your girlfriend to move her hips, or her arms, or any other part of her body, talk to her about it.

As for her facial expression, this will be even trickier because I have no doubt she is completely unaware. You could try talking to her about it, but I think this is more of a you problem. You need to get over it.

Q I have been crushing on this guy at work for about three months. I get moments where I think he notices me and where I think he may have some feelings too. I have tried twice to approach him, but I always come up short. I even think he almost approached me, but then a colleague approached him about something work-related and the moment was gone.

Yesterday, after talking to my roommate, I decided I had the strength and was going to ask him out for lunch. I walked into our caf茅 and found him in an awkward embrace with another colleague. Thankfully, it was nearly lunch, so no one noticed when I left abruptly and took every minute of break to calm myself down.

Now I鈥檓 dead embarrassed and don鈥檛 know how to handle this situation.

Awkward Office

A As this was a very timely question, I responded privately to the writer, but she agreed to let me publish her question and my response.

I told her to hold her head up high and walk back into that office and get right back to her work. At this exact moment, she has no idea what kind of embrace that was. Maybe that woman had tripped, and he caught her from falling. Maybe they鈥檙e cousins leaning on each other for familial support. Maybe they鈥檝e just had their first kiss. Who knows?

Also, neither of them has any idea what your intention was when you opened the door to the caf茅, and both probably assume you were hoping to make yourself a coffee or pick up a snack from the fridge. There is absolutely no reason for her to feel anything outward, such as embarrassment, other than she may have walked in on something illicit (is the other woman in a relationship?).

Let go of your crush, pretend he鈥檚 married and unattainable, and move on. It looks like your hopeful ‘moments’ where you thought he may have feelings are unfounded. Move on. I know it鈥檚 easier said than done, especially if you work in the same office together, but it鈥檚 doable. Go home, cry to your roommate, get it all out. And I repeat, move on.

FEEDBACK Regarding Nervous Nelly (June 26):

Reader:聽鈥淲hat is the worse that could happen? That it doesn鈥檛 work out. What if it does? You鈥檒l never know unless you try.

鈥淨u茅 Ser谩, Ser谩; what will be, will be.鈥�

FEEDBACK Regarding religiously opposed (June 27):

Reader:聽鈥淚 think these girls are being extremely disrespectful to the girlfriend鈥檚 parents by carrying on in a relationship they would not approve of under their own roof. As a parent, I would be extremely hurt they flagrantly carried on and undermined my values by pretending to be friends in my house and deceiving the family. This could cause serious trust issues for years.聽

鈥淭hey need to stop the sleepovers immediately and learn to stop being so selfish and be respectful of the parents鈥� values and rules.鈥�

Lisi:聽I agree the level of disrespect is high, and that if discovered it could have serious consequences for everyone involved.