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How can I get them to practice somewhere else?

Not my jam

础听In your longer letter, you mentioned the type of music this group plays. Arguably, it is not a soothing, soft type of music, and I can understand how you describe it as noisy and irritating. Unfortunately, this is partially a you problem, simply because the music isn鈥檛 to your taste. If it was, you may not be complaining.

However, regardless, there is a noise bylaw in the city, and in most suburbs. You could gently remind them of this bylaw and ask them to stay within the time allowance for music. You could also suggest they close their windows when they play, to decrease the noise.

Your approach will make all the difference. Be thoughtful and kind when speaking to them.

蚕听About a month ago, I bumped into a woman with whom I used to be very close friends. We had lost touch due to a move, a life stage, an illness and a silly argument. Every once in a while I鈥檇 think of her and reach out with a text. My tech would show the message had been delivered but it never showed it had been read. I didn鈥檛 think much of it because I was just reaching out and I wasn鈥檛 waiting for her reply. If it happened, great; if not, then not.

We had a friendly exchange and then I thought I鈥檇 ask about the text messages. She said she hadn鈥檛 received any. I asked if I still had the right number and read it out to her. Her partner was there, a new person I had never met, and chimed in with a resounding yes, that was her number.

I showed her my texts, she exclaimed it was strange, and said she鈥檇 reach out. I never heard from her. Am I wasting my time?

Friends no more

础听Yes, you鈥檙e wasting your time and energy. She鈥檚 not interested, I鈥檓 sorry to say. She has made it abundantly clear by her lack of reaching out over the years (if she did, you didn鈥檛 mention), and her lack of acknowledgment of your text messages. It is possible, though it seems improbable, that she wouldn鈥檛 have received any of your messages especially since you confirmed you have the correct number.

Let it go. Not every friendship is supposed to last forever. Many do, which is a beautiful thing. But many don鈥檛. Remember the good times you shared and move on. Find new friends to enjoy your life with, make memories with, and laugh with. It鈥檚 her loss, not yours.

FEEDBACK Regarding the clock running out (June 6):

Reader: 鈥淚 would seek legal advice now. Sounds like they are already common-law, which comes with many legal ramifications.

“I recently attended a presentation on estates. I was surprised to learn that succession laws do not include a common law partner. Legally, the common law spouse doesn鈥檛 exist, from estate perspective, and other relatives will get everything.

鈥淚 would be very surprised if they have wills. She could get nothing if he should pass. If he doesn鈥檛 have a will, or if she isn鈥檛 named beneficiary, does she still want to stay with him, especially if he also doesn鈥檛 want children or a formal commitment?

鈥淚f not, 40 is not too late to leave and start new chapter in her life with someone else.鈥�

Lisi: I feel as though you鈥檙e focused on the wrong issue. Her question was about having children, not being left out of his will/estate.