Based on the first Fyre Festival, you鈥檇 never expect a second Fyre Festival.
The poor saps who bought tickets in 2017 might still have PTSD after the 鈥渕ost luxurious music festival in history鈥 turned out to be as disorganized as Rudy Giuliani鈥檚 underwear drawer. This was not a music festival 鈥 it was an audacious swindle.
The destination was a private island in the Bahamian Exumas once owned by Pablo Escobar. Influencers including Gigi Hadid, Emily Ratajkowski, Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin were paid to promote the event. The hype was next level.
But when well-heeled 鈥済uests鈥 showed up for their weekend in paradise, they entered a tropical nightmare. The 鈥渆xclusive cabanas鈥 were repurposed FEMA disaster tents. The 鈥済ourmet cuisine鈥 consisted of stale bread and a slice of processed cheese served in a polystyrene box. The millennials, some of whom paid upwards of $250,000, shivered on soaked mattresses and shared the grim conditions on social.
There was a class-action lawsuit. The organizer, Billy McFarland, was charged with fraud and sentenced to six years. He got out early. But while in solitary confinement, instead of wondering why Vanity Fair called him 鈥渢he poster boy for millennial scamming,鈥 Mr. McFarland had an epiphany: I should try this again when I鈥檓 a free man.
Yes, Fyre Festival 2 is now in the works. Incredibly, the first batch of tickets sold out this week despite not having a date, location or slate of performers.
What鈥檚 that 鈥渇ool me once鈥 proverb? What鈥檚 that definition of insanity?
Maybe McFarland wants to atone for his catastrophic first Fyre. Maybe he wants to do right by investors after bilking them for millions. Maybe he feels genuine remorse about how his duped guests got mugged or were chased by wild dogs as they wheeled Gucci carry-ons through a construction site with no Blink-182 or Migos in sight.
Or maybe what McFarland learned in prison is that a sucker is born every minute.
We live in a time of brazen shamelessness. The poster boy for this is Donald Trump. Millions of MAGA cultists still believe this P.T. Barnum in an ill-fitting suit is their messiah. He鈥檚 actually a one-term, twice-impeached, quadruple-indicted pathological liar enabled by lickspittles as he forever grifts the gullible. I鈥檓 surprised Trump didn鈥檛 come up with Fyre Festival 鈥 it was a scam not dissimilar to Trump University.
I stopped trying to make sense of the red hats a long time ago. They inhabit a parallel universe beyond the outer edge of reason and reality. Eventually, all doomsday cults meet their doom. Spoiler alert: Dear Leader will never be president again. He鈥檒l be lucky to not end up in prison like McFarland. And that brings us back to Fyre Festival 2.
Who are these dim-wits lining up to line McFarland鈥檚 pockets again after he proved he could not organize a bake sale let alone a global music festival? The original Fyre ended before it started after the bands pulled out and vendors bolted. What makes anyone think Fyre Festival 2 will be different? It鈥檚 as if you advertised the opening of a new mall and then shoppers arrived to find you hawking old mittens out of a gym bag. Six years later, when you pitched another new mall, nobody would get fooled again.
Based on the first Fyre Festival, I wouldn鈥檛 be surprised if the next one is staged at the foot of an active volcano as Komodo dragons lurk behind concession stands selling $30 bottles of water contaminated with sewage. I鈥檓 sorry, Billy McFarland. I鈥檓 a big believer in second chances and redemption. But you can鈥檛 just sashay out of the slammer and ask for a do-over on what put you behind bars in the first place.
Organize something smaller that is free of snafus and wild incompetence before you attempt Fyre Festival 2. Start a book club. Just don鈥檛 include, 鈥淭he Wizard of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust.鈥 Have you ever considered working for Amway or Tupperware? That might be a good fit for your salesman bravado.
Plus, airtight food storage containers might come in handy for Fyre Festival 2.
The first Fyre Festival was shocking in the scope of its botched execution.
That makes the possibility of a second Fyre Festival even more shocking.
But Billy McFarland, like Donald Trump, intuitively grasps how brazen shamelessness can be a lucrative hustle. Just keep lying until people believe you and open their wallets. Just promise the moon and hope nobody notices you are delivering space junk. Say anything and do nothing. Fake it until you don鈥檛 make it. Deceive, trick and count the cash.
After the first Fyre Festival imploded in real time, the Bahamas Ministry of Tourism felt obliged to comment: 鈥淲e are extremely disappointed in the way the events unfolded yesterday with the Fyre Festival. Hundreds of visitors to Exuma were met with total disorganization and chaos 鈥 The event organizers assured us that all measures were taken to ensure a safe and successful event but clearly they did not have the capacity to execute an event of this scale.鈥
Nope. The Fyre Festival, a subject of docs, was a disaster. That was on the organizers.
If the second one goes kaboom, that鈥檚 on the suckers born every minute.
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