It can鈥檛 be much fun to be a manager these days.
HR departments now have more rules than the UN. From hybrid to remote, flex schedules to quiet quitting, side hustles to AI, the modern workplace is a work in progress. The 9-to-5 has been deep-sixed. Work has gone from scripted to improv.
So we might as well chuck 鈥渢ime blindness鈥 into the office equation.
It all started as everything starts these days: with a viral TikTok. In the short clip, a recalled a recent job interview that ended badly after she asked if she could show up late if hired. This is an unwise query before you land the job. If I applied for a position with the CN Tower, I wouldn鈥檛 casually mention my paralyzing fear of heights. That would be a deal breaker.
Miss Chaotic, tears in her eyes, claims the interviewer yelled. She was told 鈥渢ime blindness鈥 will translate into lifetime unemployment. There was even a parting shot at her age: 鈥淵our stupid generation wants to destroy the workplace.鈥
As you can imagine, Chaotic was savaged in the comments and media, especially Fox News. She was portrayed as an entitled and lazy brat with no personal responsibility. Kari Lake gets way better press and she鈥檚 a lying psychopath.
If Chaotic were my daughter, I would have strongly advised her against posting that video and including hashtags such as #capitalismsucks. That鈥檚 not a good look when you want in on capitalism. I would also tell Chaotic something young people don鈥檛 hear enough these days: find a solution to not get smothered by the problem.
Yes, there is a clinical diagnosis for time blindness. But it鈥檚 rare. So if Chaotic does not have ADHD or frontal lobe impairment 鈥 if she doesn鈥檛 set aside eight hours to make ramen or believe she can red-eye to Helsinki in nine seconds 鈥 people are going to hear 鈥渢ime blindness鈥 and roll their eyes because it sounds like a self-serving excuse.
My wife suffers from time blindness 鈥 but only when I鈥檓 taking her to a Jays game.
If we鈥檙e going to the ballet, I get time blindness and she is magically time 20/20.
Is the grass too tall? Is the hamper full of dirty clothes? Help, I suffer from chores blindness! I can鈥檛 eat that. You know I鈥檓 cauliflowerphobic. Don鈥檛 violate my human rights with your Brassica oleracea. No, that鈥檚 not road rage. I was turning left and the jackass who gunned it through the intersection has red light blindness. Wake up.
It鈥檚 curious how time blindness only involves arriving late to work. Medically, logically, there should be days when Chaotic shows up at 4 a.m. or accidentally leaves after midnight. If her brain truly has no sense of time, she could be in her capitalist cubicle all of August and not once remember to take a 15-minute break.
Can doctors explain why she doesn鈥檛 seem to have any problems with the video time limits on TikTok? If she won the Powerball and was instructed to collect her millions in an hour, I鈥檓 pretty sure she鈥檇 meet the deadline with time for a sandwich.
Stevie Wonder shows up for his concerts on cue and he鈥檚 actually blind. I鈥檓 sorry, Chaotic. You don鈥檛 have end-stage cancer or even gout. There are solutions for your condition. Buy an alarm clock. Buy several alarm clocks. Download an app. Adopt a rooster. Hire a wake-up call service and pay extra so the clerk can remotely stage manage your morning routine: Ring. 鈥淥pen your eyes.鈥 Ring. 鈥淕et out of bed.鈥 Ring. 鈥淭ake a shower.鈥 Ring. 鈥淕et dressed.鈥 Ring. 鈥淵ou鈥檝e been nibbling avocado toast for 45 minutes and have a PowerPoint at 9:30. Get to work!鈥
In the olden days, there was a different term for 鈥渢ime blindness.鈥 I believe it was known as, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e fired.鈥 I鈥檓 not saying it was enlightened. But everyone understood the rules of engagement. You got paid to start at this time, work x number of hours and produce y per week. You were part of a team. They counted on you to be at that Monday meeting instead of wandering the mall because you thought it was Saturday.
Punctuality is not optional when your paycheque depends upon it.
I am not condoning the reaction of the person who allegedly screamed at Chaotic. That鈥檚 unprofessional. But you can understand the frustration of employers these days. Between the alleged microaggressions and demands for safe spaces and random calls from helicopter parents, managing is exhausting. My friends who hire all say the same thing: everyone wants a job and nobody wants to work too hard.
You can鈥檛 run a business like it鈥檚 the Met Gala. It鈥檚 almost as if the corporate world needs a new JFK to inspire the slackers: 鈥淎sk not what your company can do for you 鈥 ask what you can do for your company.鈥
The key for any employee is accentuating strength and not pathologizing weakness. If Chaotic suffers from time blindness, she probably won鈥檛 have a career in day trading or air traffic control. She won鈥檛 even last long at Starbucks if she鈥檚 slotted to open for the morning rush and then rolls in at high noon.
But she can help herself by not feeling sorry for herself. She can see the big picture.
There is no work-life balance without the work.
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