鈥淲hy have you put all those cushions on the bed?鈥 asks my spouse.
鈥淭hey鈥檙e decorator cushions,鈥 I say. 鈥淭hey鈥檒l help us sell the house.鈥
鈥淗ow?鈥 he says, looking puzzled. 鈥淚 think they鈥檙e annoying.鈥
Truthfully, I do too. At night, who needs the chore of tossing a bunch of little square slabs on the floor 鈥 then the next morning, putting them all back.
Not me. I want to simply pull up the duvet and head downstairs to put the kettle on.
Yet cushions 鈥 lots and lots of cushions 鈥 in bedrooms are in vogue right now and, when you鈥檙e thinking of putting your house on the market, as we are, you get the message quickly that taking the plunge involves paying heed a whole set of 鈥渞ules.鈥 In fact, decorator cushions are only one aspect of a burgeoning industry which may be one of the few in southern Ontario (or indeed anywhere in Canada) experiencing any growth right now.
I鈥檓 talking about 鈥渟taging.鈥
Invite a stager into your home and she (they are invariably women) is sure to find at least a dozen things wrong with it.
The comfy old dark green sofa in the living room that your husband inherited years ago from his great aunt Frances? No way. A white sofa, preferably in linen or silk is a must to get a good offer, the stager will suggest gently. Added to that, white, white, white everywhere聽鈥 walls, kitchen cupboards, countertops, appliances 鈥 is the way to go now. Not just any old white, mind you. There are now, amazingly, for homeowners to choose from, and it鈥檚 crucial to pick the right one. Warm, creamy whites, stagers say, are in fashion for 2025. And if you don鈥檛 have the money or the energy to paint the entire house, everything else must be neutral tones, preferably grey. Your bright orange bathroom with that tropical mural you found so cheering last winter? Forget it. Prospective buyers will shudder and walk out.
Then there鈥檚 the much-emphasized requirement to 鈥渄eclutter.鈥 This involves getting rid of every single thing that marks you as a person with individual tastes. You like books? “Well, maybe a few on a shelf,鈥 the stager will allow grudgingly. 鈥淏ut not many. No one wants to look at books now.鈥 Paintings and photos? Same rule applies. Your beloved art collection built up over the years must be stashed away out of sight 鈥 replaced by one not-very-inspiring print from Ikea on the living room wall.
Who pays heed to these disheartening edicts? Evidently most of us do, because we鈥檙e so scared of not finding a buyer. Yet are the decorating divas right? Having recently visited a number of homes for sale near me, what comes across forcibly is that they all look exactly the same. House or condo, it doesn鈥檛 matter, really. There鈥檚 no spark, no warmth, no originality 鈥 the kind of energy that has enticed me in the past to buy a particular property. Perhaps it was a scarlet wall in the living room that drew me in. Or the restful green in an upstairs bedroom, with the afternoon sun flooding in through the window. By contrast, many homes for sale nowadays have the bland cookie-cutter feel of hotel bedrooms. Devoid of any personality. And if they鈥檝e been kitted out with a swanky new kitchen, all that immaculate white puts me in mind of a medical laboratory. Cold, pristine and impractical, I can鈥檛 imagine myself cooking up a storm there.
Will my husband and I bend to the accepted standards for selling a house nowadays? We haven鈥檛 decided yet. Thanks to the machinations of the maniac in the White House, the real estate market in Ontario has gone as soft as marshmallow, so we鈥檙e holding off. But I do know one thing. Once this ordeal is over, it鈥檒l be off to the local second-hand shop for those annoying decorator cushions.
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