Bad dreams from which he awakened sweating and disoriented. Middle of the night panic attacks. The drip-drip-drip of daily media scrums when all the talk 鈥 certainly all the Maple Leafs brass arm-twisting 鈥 was directed at pushing their captain out of town, away, away, to waive his no-movement clause as the NHL raced towards the trade deadline.
And Mats Sundin said: No.
Few grasped the psychic toll that wrangle took on him, that he was an emotional wreck. Because he didn鈥檛 show it. Not much anyway, not outside the dressing room, beyond his family, his soon-to-be-fianc茅e Josephine and his closest friends. If he felt betrayed, it wasn鈥檛 expressed in anger or bitter sound bites. 鈥淢aybe that鈥檚 a Swedish thing?鈥
It was February 2008 and Cliff Fletcher had been brought back as general manager a month earlier with that specific task 鈥 to convince Sundin he should show his character, his selflessness, by taking his leave of the Leafs.
鈥淚 had a meeting with Cliff in Carolina,鈥欌 Sundin recalls. 鈥淗e asked me, ‘Don鈥檛 you want to go win a Stanley Cup?’ I was having a really strong year and I guess they thought, ‘we can get a lot for him.’
鈥淚鈥檇 spent 13 years in Toronto, 11 years as captain. It was personally not a good feeling, being asked that. When it all broke in the media, it became very stressful and a distraction for the team.鈥欌
The former Leafs defenceman had turned down the C twice, and he regretted it afterward.
The former Leafs defenceman had turned down the C twice, and he regretted it afterward.
No Leaf in the modern era has ever been subjected to that level of pressure and in some quarters Sundin was viewed as an ingrate, unwilling to give the Leafs this departing gift 鈥 probably high draft choices to begin the process of rebuilding in a post-Sundin era, because he would become a free agent on July 1 and the club clearly had no intention of re-signing this exemplary Leaf.
They didn鈥檛 make the playoffs that spring. Hard to blame Sundin: 32 goals, 46 assists, the final chapter in his Maple Leaf career, a litany of club records that his descendant as captain, Auston Matthews, is now in the process of demolishing. But blamed he was, for not letting go.
A year later, and with the same panicky trepidation, Sundin stepped onto the ice at the Air Canada Centre as a Vancouver Canuck, with no idea how he would be received by fans. What he got was a standing ovation that went on and on and on, as his eyes leaked. And, to end the game, the shootout winner. His beauteous backhand.
The memories 鈥 mostly good, some painful 鈥 come flooding back as Sundin is talking down the line from his home outside Stockholm, with his memoir 鈥淗ome and Away鈥欌 hitting the shelves Tuesday.
鈥淩eally, who am I to write a book, right?鈥欌 he laughs. And that鈥檚 classic Sundin, too, unassuming.
While 鈥淗ome and Away鈥欌 is co-written with author Amy Stuart, it鈥檚 Sundin鈥檚 voice that jumps off the page, the first-person cadence and persona.
Here is the little boy who apparently had a storybook childhood, raised by parents who instilled fine values; a hockey prodigy who, at the age of 17, after a tournament, was approached by a strange man in a fedora holding an unlit cigar. That was Pat Quinn who, unbeknownst to Sundin, was the then-president of the Vancouver Canucks. Quinn gave him a Canucks pin and said: 鈥淵ou have a big future in hockey.鈥欌
That was the first time Sundin thought to himself, 鈥淲ow, maybe I can make it over there, actually make a living playing hockey.鈥欌 A year later, he became the first European to be selected first overall in the NHL draft by the Quebec Nordiques. What most will likely remember from his tenure there was the one night on the bench from coach Pierre Page.
Sundin scarcely mentions that incident in the book and doesn鈥檛 name Page. 鈥淗e was giving it to all the forwards,鈥欌 he says now. 鈥淚t looked like it was only to me. And it got picked up in the media because it was caught on TV.鈥欌
Mats Sundin traded for Wendel Clark, hoo-boy, that stood the hockey world on its ear. You鈥檇 think he might never be forgiven for that either, but he was. Thus began the Sundin epoch in Toronto, what would vault him into the Hall of Fame immediately upon eligibility. Quinn, on the committee, delivered the news. 鈥淗ey Mats, It鈥檚 Pat calling. I just want to let you know you鈥檝e been selected.鈥欌
鈥淚t was very emotional,鈥欌 says Sundin. 鈥淚t was my hockey life coming full circle. And it was Pat. I had so much respect for him. We had some great runs in 海角社区官网together. But neither him nor I reached that ultimate goal, winning the Stanley Cup.鈥欌
The other Pat as well, Burns, Sundin adored him.
鈥淔rom my first meeting, he had that presence. When he came in the room, he didn鈥檛 even have to say anything. He was a very demanding coach but at the same time he was a player鈥檚 coach. It鈥檚 hard to be both. He was very honest, straight forward, hard-nosed, but at the same time he was protective. There was no fa莽ade.鈥
If Sundin has one misgiving as a Leaf, it鈥檚 that he didn鈥檛 assert himself more as captain with his coaches and his general managers. He could have wielded greater influence in how the team should have been constructed, which players he wanted alongside. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 probably my upbringing. Maybe at times I could have been more outspoken. But there鈥檚 a hierarchy that goes from the dressing room to the coach to the manager. My job was to get the most out of my play and the most out of my team.鈥
The keenest if-only, of course, is that he never took the Maple Leafs to a Stanley Cup, never got beyond a conference final. Why Mats?
鈥淵ou can make all kinds of excuses. But at the end of the day, I don鈥檛 think the team was good enough to win the Stanley Cup.鈥 He means those teams that fell short at the conference final stage. 鈥淭hose years when we lost to Buffalo, lost to Carolina, and they lost to Dallas and Detroit. They had 10 or 12 future Hall of Famers, really strong teams. Our teams weren鈥檛 good enough but at the same time, how do you get good enough? There鈥檚 32 teams trying to solve the mystery of the Stanley Cup.
鈥淚 get asked all the time, ‘Do you regret not winning the Cup?’ I don鈥檛. I鈥檝e been so blessed to have had the career that I did, playing 18 seasons in the NHL, earning more money than I ever dreamed of. The only regret I have is that I wanted the 海角社区官网Maple Leafs and the fans to get the Stanley Cup. I couldn鈥檛 do it for the city of Toronto.鈥
At his home, there鈥檚 no memorabilia. In fact, he鈥檚 kept few significant artifacts from his career: the Leaf jersey he wore in his final season, the Olympic jersey when he helped Sweden grab gold in 2006. And one special stick. 鈥淚 received it when I played my 1,000th game. It鈥檚 a great gift I got from the Leafs, signed by every player and how many games I鈥檇 played with them.鈥欌 Not just the Leafs, but the former Nordiques, too.
The Sundin legacy matters less than how he will be remembered by teammates and fans. 鈥淚 hope they remember me as someone who wanted the absolute best for the 海角社区官网Maple Leafs and that I gave it my all out there. Those are the memories I hope will stick with Maple Leaf fans.鈥
These days, at 53, he鈥檚 busy trying to keep up with his three young children 鈥 Bonnie, Nate, Julian, aged 7 to 12. 鈥淚鈥檓 exhausted.鈥 They never saw him play and the book is his way of introducing that聽Mats Sundin to the kids.
As the interview winds down, he has one concluding thought, because he鈥檚 been reflecting on it.
鈥淭hose 13 years I played with the Leafs, there were ups and downs, there were times when I played 10 or more games without scoring a goal. I never once had a fan yell at me at the grocery store or at the coffee shop or come up and criticize me. Not once in all those years.
鈥淭hat says something about the fans, what the Maple Leafs mean to the city. It says something about the love for the Maple Leafs.鈥欌
He loved you right back.
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