Q My sister and I are both in our 20s, and this is the first year that we are back living at home together since high school. I鈥檓 so excited about it, thinking it will be like when we were younger. We also have a younger brother who just started Grade 12, so we are all home again 鈥 for this year.
My sister and I used to walk home from school together, or sometimes we鈥檇 just all meet at home for dinner. She dances and my brother and I play hockey so sometimes we鈥檇 only meet up at night. But she and I would always have an hour, minimum, of chatting and giggling daily.
We鈥檝e all been home together now for about a month, and my sister just isn鈥檛 the same. She still dances but not as much; and I still play hockey, but only recreationally. I like to go out at night and have fun, even if it鈥檚 just for one drink, or to a friend鈥檚 house to watch TV. I invite her all the time, but she never seems to want to join. Some nights I鈥檒l hang out with our little brother, playing video games and she doesn鈥檛 want to join us, either. She used to love video games and especially because she was better than both of us!
Everyone loves her, my friends all love her, and everyone wants her to come out on the weekends. But she just isn鈥檛 interested and stays in her room. I鈥檓 worried about her.
Something About My Sister
A There is definitely something going on with your sister and I believe you have reason to be concerned. Have you spoken with your parents about it? I get the impression that you were home last year, and this is her first year back. Going on that notion 鈥 and forgive me if I misunderstood 鈥 maybe she鈥檚 just having an adjustment period to not living on her own. It鈥檚 difficult to go from being fully independent to living under your parents鈥 roof 鈥 and rules 鈥 again. Especially as a young adult.
However, from your description, she seems sullen and depressed. That鈥檚 not a diagnosis, just an observation. You didn鈥檛 mention whether she had to come home for financial reasons, or social reasons or employment. Talk to her. Tell her she can talk to you 鈥 about anything and you won鈥檛 judge. You just want to see your sister smile again. If she refuses to open up to you, and your parents can鈥檛 get her to talk to them, she may need professional help. It鈥檚 never good to stay bottled up.
Q While sitting at home, watching TV last night, my whole house just went dark when the power shut down. Everything just turned off. I walked around the house, saw that it was also happening at my neighbours, and wondered what was going on. In about three minutes, it all turned back on.
But now I鈥檓 anxious to get on my flight next week. What if that happened while flying?
Flying Fears
A The blackout in your neighbourhood was probably some type of hydro glitch. You said it was a few other homes and only lasted minutes.
Airplanes don鈥檛 run on that type of power, and they have backup if something malfunctions, and backup for the backup. According to my research, a complete shutdown is extremely rare. And if it does happen, the plane won鈥檛 just plummet out of the sky. It鈥檒l start to glide and still be steerable and controllable.
You may need some anxiety medication. Talk to your doctor. (I get anxious flying, too).
FEEDBACK Regarding the door-to-door solicitations (June 9):
Reader:聽鈥淭he last 20 years of my career have been as a professional fundraiser. I can only guess that charities are finding funds raised by mail and email are dropping. I loathe the return to door-to-door solicitations.聽
鈥淭hroughout my career people have said to me, 鈥業 couldn’t do what you do.鈥 They don’t know what I do, because their idea of fundraising is solicitation. In my career, I have worked with so many wonderful, generous donors to discover what is meaningful to them and the impact they want to have with their giving. That is not going door-to-door asking for $20 and trying to upsell that to a monthly gift. This door-to-door trend is taking fundraising back 30 years and denigrates the work that professional fundraisers do every day to support their causes.聽
鈥淣o one is obligated to speak with anyone showing up unsolicited at their door.鈥
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