Didn鈥檛 Prince Harry and Meghan Markle leave the royal family for privacy?
I thought they wanted to escape the prying eyes of the demonic tabloids. I thought they wanted to reinvent as celeb-philanthropists in Los Angeles, to jettison the musty dysfunction of Buckingham Palace. I thought they wanted peace and refuge.
If so, Harry and Meghan should sue themselves.
For a couple that claims to hate media frenzies, they keep starting them.
Prince Harry鈥檚 new memoir, 鈥沦辫补谤别,鈥 hit bookstores on Tuesday. You can save the 30 bucks by reading the myriad excerpts that have popped up around the world after the book was accidentally released early in Spain, setting off a Google Translate race to decipher the 鈥渂ombshells鈥 and tally Harry鈥檚 fiery settling of scores.
On Tuesday, CNN assigned five reporters to itemize 鈥渢he key take-aways from Prince Harry鈥檚 explosive memoir.鈥 There was the time Prince William, during a heated conflict over Meghan, knocked his younger brother to the ground in a violent assault.
It seems King Charles has begged his sons to knock it off already with this sibling rivalry to avoid making his 鈥渇inal years a misery.鈥 It might be too late. The brothers urged their father not to marry Camilla, now the Queen Consort, who is described by Harry as a 鈥渧illain鈥 who leaked daggers to the press to 鈥渞ehabilitate鈥 her own image.
Camilla is cast into the role of evil Disney stepmother.
Harry comes across as short-sighted in the myopia of his laments.
He writes about his penis, his drug use, his loss of virginity, his kill count while serving in Afghanistan, all with the same disregard for the privacy he claims to cherish. If his goal was to nuke the monarchy, it is he and Meghan who are the collateral damage.
YouGov released a survey this week that found Harry鈥檚 favourability rating has cratered. Just 26 per cent of Britons have a positive view of the Duke of Sussex, the lowest number since YouGov started tracking in 2011. The only way Harry could be more unpopular is if were to don a Nazi costume and go clubbing with Matt Gaetz.
This memoir is supposed to be his moment of truth. Instead, it鈥檚 a litany of bizarre grievances, real or imagined, a doomed attempt to triangulate the narrative without realizing he is only pushing even the sympathetic further away.
Harry has been forced to cope with horrific tragedy, including the death of his mother Diana when he was just 12. That was heartbreaking, especially since it played out as the world watched. He鈥檚 had to deal with conspiracy theories his biological father is James Hewitt, with whom Diana had an affair. In his book, Harry writes that even Charles would crack wise about the rumour: 鈥淲ho knows if I鈥檓 even your real father? Maybe your real father is in Broadmoor, darling boy!鈥
That鈥檚 messed up. But as casual onlookers already know, the royal family is messed up. It鈥檚 an anachronistic institution trapped in a modern world. If you went to someone鈥檚 house and were forced to curtsy and not make eye contact before being addressed directly, you鈥檇 cackle into your tea and never go back. That鈥檚 where Harry and Meghan find themselves: they can never go back to the royal family, not after that Oprah interview, the Netflix series and now this cultural TNT of a memoir.
But does Harry really want this estrangement to turn into a permanent goodbye?
It鈥檚 not clear. During this week鈥檚 media frenzy, including interviews with 鈥60 Minutes鈥 and the cover of People magazine, Harry let slip that he鈥檇 like to repair his relationship with his brother and father, that he wants his children to know his hoity-toity relatives across the pond. His eyes betray a regret and reality he dare not speak.
If you鈥檙e raking in millions with docs and books that trash your family, your family might not be receptive to any future reconciliation. At this point, after all that鈥檚 been said, I鈥檓 pretty sure Kate Middleton would rather join the Ukrainian army than go for a mani-pedi with Meghan Markle. And who can blame her?
Those sisters-in-law are three London Underground stops past frenemy.
Prince Harry has every right to speak his truth. But the more he speaks, the less truthful it seems. It can鈥檛 be much fun growing up as the spare when your older brother is the heir. Harry is traumatized by the preordained slights he was born into, the absurdities of royalty more than 1,000 years in the making. He has suffered crushing pain and the cosmic vagaries of not having a defined perch in his own world.
My heart goes out to him. Really. But reading his new memoir, the back of my hand also wants to cuff him upside the head and ask, 鈥淲hat are you doing?鈥
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle relocated to North America to look ahead. But they obviously can鈥檛 leave the past behind. You can鈥檛 build a future by burning bridges. It鈥檚 madness. Instead of starting over, Harry and Meghan are publicly relegating private conflicts by airing dirty laundry on a lucrative clothesline of book sales and TV deals.
This will not damage the royal family 鈥 it will only hurt them.
They keep forfeiting their own dream of privacy.
They can鈥檛 stop being their own worst enemies.
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