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Decades after 鈥淭he Twilight Zone鈥� taught us to be careful what we wish for, Kogonada鈥檚 romantic misadventure 鈥淎 Big Bold Beautiful Journey鈥� tries to resurrect the late Serling鈥檚 formula: enigmatic treks, magical objects, life lessons at the signpost up ahead. What it delivers, instead, is a rom-com road trip with some whimsy but scant wonder, driven by a magical GPS with more personality than the human leads.

The film straps us in with two lost souls, played by Colin Farrell (all hangdog charm) and Margot Robbie (incorrigibly distant). They鈥檙e named David and Sarah but could be any movie couple who drift into each other鈥檚 flirtation zone at a mutual friend鈥檚 wedding.

In short order, they鈥檙e sharing a rental car 鈥� an antique Saturn, no less 鈥� fitted with a magic GPS (voiced tersely by Jodie Turner-Smith) that reroutes them into elaborate detours through their own past pains and greatest life hits. 鈥淭he Twilight Zone鈥� echoes are loud (see 鈥淲alking Distance鈥� and 鈥淎 Stop at Willoughby鈥�), but sincerity is in short supply.

Kogonada, whose early films 鈥淐olumbus鈥� and 鈥淎fter Yang鈥� found real poetry in small moments, spins his wheels here. The screenplay by Seth Reiss, fresh off the acidic bite of 鈥淭he Menu,鈥� grinds down its life lessons to platitudes as smooth as fast-food containers: convenient, disposable and delivered with all the conviction of an algorithm.

Why is the rental car central to the story? It allows Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Kevin Kline cameo fun as a pseudo-surreal desk clerk and mechanic, doling out Saturn keys with just enough oddball energy to remind viewers how much sharper the film could be.

Burger King gets a starring role in an early scene, product placement so blatant even the lead actors look like they鈥檙e reconsidering their career choices.

David and Sarah鈥檚 drive is a magical mystery tour of memory doors: a windswept lighthouse from David鈥檚 childhood, an art museum loved by Sarah鈥檚 mother (Lily Rabe), and a high school production of 鈥淗ow to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying,鈥� which at least succeeds in momentarily goosing the fading screen energy.

Here, David has mixed emotions reliving teen thrills (he鈥檚 a stage ham) and angst (he鈥檚 spurned by a girl), while Sarah gets her own pit stops in melancholia: an estranged mother, a trail of failed relationships, and the kind of trust issues meet-cute movies like to resolve in less than two hours.

None of this would matter if the main pair displayed genuine curiosity, concern, or even shock at hurtling through their most private traumas under the direction of a bossy GPS.

But they don鈥檛. Most scenes glide by in a lightly sedated fog; even a dreamlike hilltop moment, where they gaze back at Earth from what seems like space, barely raises a pulse.

There鈥檚 plenty of talent on display, some sharp supporting turns (Waller-Bridge, as ever, pulls fun out of thin air with her fake German accent), and Kogonada doesn鈥檛 forget his Ozu-tinged visual touches: pools of saturated colour, a moon sliding behind a hill, all the beauty his earlier films captured so easily.

Yet the pretty surfaces aren鈥檛 enough. The film鈥檚 emotional stakes remain weightless; its insights never land. A limp cover of 鈥淟et My Love Open the Door鈥� wafts over the soundtrack, a sonic greeting card unwilling to risk heartbreak.

If 鈥淎 Big Bold Beautiful Journey鈥� sounds convoluted, that鈥檚 because it is. But its biggest sin isn鈥檛 confusion; it鈥檚 indifference. The film is so enamoured with its own premise 鈥� so sure that retro rental cars and magical realism will solve everyone鈥檚 problems 鈥� that it never notices the magic dissipating with every kilometre.

Moviegoers hoping for Kogonada鈥檚 next great leap after the haunting humanity quest of 鈥淎fter Yang鈥� or the elegant stillness of 鈥淐olumbus鈥� may feel a bit like David and Sarah themselves: endlessly on the scenic route, longing for a destination that never arrives.